Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Dear 30...

I can't believe it's the first of February already. This can only mean 2 things: 1) it's 4 days until I parachute my way to my 30th birthday & 2) in five days time I actually turn 30!

A long time ago, when I was little, I used to think that anything over 18 was grown up. When I turned 18, I felt younger than I did when I turned 15, so that milestone moved to 21. When I turned 21, half way through my degree, I still didn't feel like a proper grown up, after all, I went home to live with my mum every time there was a university break. So, every year since, I've expected to feel more grown up, and every year since, there's been a reason why I just don't feel grown up at all. Despite a mortgage and a ring on my finger and a career, and a job after that career, I still keep wondering when I will ever feel like a proper grown up.
Will I ever feel grown up?
But this is it: I have decided. 30 is the new 21 is the new 18! I am ready to tackle adulthood head-on now. Really I am. There's not even a tiny part of me that wants to run away and hide in childhood, REALLY! Ok, so maybe there is a part of me that will always feel like a child, but I am going to make a wild statement and say I am willing to embrace my 30s with the intention of making it my best decade yet.

The potential is enormous, but I'm going to leave it there. I don't want to tempt fate, but I just want to make this little address, in advance:

Dear 30s, 
I am so looking forward to finally meeting you on Sunday. I am sure we're going to become best of friends and share all sorts of adventures together! 
Until Sunday, all my love, Hannah x


  1. Dear Hannah.
    I am probably your biggest fan. I love your blogs and the style in which you write, but this is the first time I have been inspired to comment. I am not a huge ballet fan, but I love your take on life.Never worry that you feel so young and that sometimes you feel like a child again. I have been feeling that for years and like you I am approaching another milestone in my life. I will be sixty this year. Yes, twice your age and sometimes I think its only the price of the toys that have changed.(golf clubs, ski equipment, iphones, kindles etc etc)because I am essentially still childlike in my ways.
    We are all still experiencing life for the first time as we get up each day and we are still learning all the time. And sometimes it is still very scary!
    Just enjoy every day and every experience; good; bad; or indifferent. It's all still a "learning curve". And of course you are allowed to feel like a child now and then.No matter what age we get to, we all feel the are not alone.
    I said I love your blogs and the style in which you write....actually it's more than that. As your Dad I have always loved everything about you.

    With love

    Daddy Ballerina

  2. Thank you Elizabeth! Thank you Daddy too... lovely words. xxx

  3. i have that feeling too!
    i'm always using 30 as my marker for 'old'.
    my friend is always telling me in my head i'm 18....

    in fact just the other day my boyfriend asked me what age i would like to be when i had kids, and without thinking i said, 'oh not until i'm 30' wasnt until later on i realised that that is only just over 2 years away....what have i gotten myself into....

  4. Happy (early) birthday! You're only as old and you feel and act. :) Dancing also keeps you young, fact!